Grief as a Strengthening of Will

“I thought I could describe a state; make a map of sorrow. Sorrow, however, turns out to be not a state but a process.” C. S. Lewis, A Grief Observed

My beloved Dad passed away very unexpectedly and suddenly April 30th and it broke my heart. His death brought with it un-answered prayers, pain, shock and loss. Although my head knew otherwise, I had a feeling of betrayal from the Lord and was simply very wounded and downtrodden. I have journeyed with the Lord long enough that I knew in my head that He was sovereign, Jesus was sufficient, and He would keep my faith in tact. But that didn’t take away from the pain and grueling process of the last 6 months.

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Guard Your Heart

Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” Proverbs 4:23

But how, Father? There’s so much evil, misinformation, deceitfulness, confusion, and turmoil in our country right now. I know we must be on guard against the pervasive darkness and wickedness that’s spreading. I want to “guard my heart above all else”. But how!?

I’ve found my answer:

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Psalm 131

My heart is not proud, O Lord, my eyes are not haughty; I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me. But I have stilled and quieted my soul; like a weaned child with its mother, like a weaned child is my soul within me. O Israel, put your hope in the Lord both now and forevermore. Psalm 131

There’s a lot of things going on in our country and in the world that are alarming and attention-grabbing. But the Lord not only gives us permission to be at peace and not worry…He desires it for us! Every day, we must take the time to be at peace and relinquish all worries to the Lord’s hands. This week I have practiced visualizing myself crawling into Abba’s lap, being still, and not moving from that stillness until I feel totally content.

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